Throughout my life, I've had an on again/off again relationship with karate and the martial arts. I studied karate for almost five years during my teenage years and quit before high school graduation when I went through a rebellious phase. I returned to studying karate, kobudo (Okinawan weapons) and Brazilian Ju-Jitsu a decade later in my late late twenties after I had graduated from college, got married and became a father. That was also a short-lived stint as a few problems in my life forced me out a second time that I couldn't handle. Always regretting that I had quit (twice!), I made a renewed vow around Christmas 2006 with my daughter to right some wrongs in my life to improve my health and spirit. One of those promises was to rediscover my love for karate and return to studying this traditional martial art that I now have fully integrated into my life.

I'm once again finally back on what I feel was the path I was meant to take after taking two detours earlier in my life. It has been an amazing journey for me and I have re-dedicated my life to studying traditional karate. Currently, I am a 1st Degree Black Belt (Shodan) in Yoshukai Karate.

Karate-Do is a means to live one's life that has benefits in all aspects of life. There is no finish line, just the push to continously improve one's self.

Here is my story with my journey in the martial arts:

The 1980's - Shudo-Kan Karate

At a young age, I was amazed at what appeared to be the super-human feats of martial artists that I saw on television and the movies... whether it was actor/martial artists like Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris. Karate captured my imagination. This was especially true after seeing the movie, THE KARATE KID in 1984. I wanted to learn karate like Daniel-San.

As a boy, I was an average kid in my athletic skills. I played soccer when I was a young kid, but asthma prevented me from running for long periods of time without having breathing difficulties and getting winded. So, my parents took me out of soccer and I started playing baseball. I loved baseball and still do. I played on teams for several summers until junior high. I also enjoyed swimming and riding my bicycle. I enjoyed playing outside with my friends throughout my childhood and teenage years, but it was truly difficult for me to find a single "sport" to stay active back then for various reasons. I fought with my weight, my asthma and wrestled with my attention span to find something to keep me interested. So, karate would become my "sport" at that period of time. Later in life, I discovered karate isn't just a "sport" as it is really a means to live one's life with precepts that go hand-in-hand with my Christian beliefs.

To backtrack when I was in 8th grade sometime around the fall of 1984 (if I'm recollecting correctly), I took my first karate class at the Nelson Center in Lincoln Park with Mr. Ed Bell as my first instructor. He was a tough Springfield Cop. At the time, I had braces on my teeth and was a bit shy. I remember getting a xeroxed flyer passed out in one of my classes at Franklin Middle School that advertised this "karate camp". I just sort of took the form home and without much thought, asked my parents one night if I could start taking karate lessons. They said yes, which surprised me in retrospect, since my father wouldn't allow me to play football because he was afraid I would get hurt as he had when he was a teenager. My father ended up with a broken nose and other injuries in high school from football.

Sure, I had been in a few fist fights as a kid. I won most. I lost one that I remember as a little kid. I had always stood up to bullies growing up. I wasn't looking for trouble when I began studying karate. I wasn't initially taking karate for self-defense because I was feeling scared of anyone in particular. There was just some sort of magic about learning those moves that made me want to study it. Probably for the same reasons that fellow Memphian, Elvis Presley, wanted to study karate.

I remember fondly that fall and winter taking my first class with probably 60 other kids in the room upstairs above the ice skating rink. My Dad would take me to my first karate classes at the Nelson Center. I believe it lasted for a few months or something like that. It seemed like a giant banquet room with cold white tile floors and a high dark ceiling. We all wore our t-shirts and sweat pants to work out in. Just rows upon rows of kids from Springfield that were lined up and executing an array of kicks, punches and blocks. My first instructor, Mr. Bell, was a no-nonsense kind of guy. My memory of him was that he was a man of few words. He was very rough, tough and gruff. Balding with a crewcut, beady eyes and a military looking mustache. Let me emphasize, he was tough. Out of that large group, I was the only one who "graduated" from that initial winter camp. I wasn't ready to end this new thing I had discovered. I decided to start taking karate full-time and transfered to a proper dojo (karate training hall).

Mr. Bell had me relocate to the N.K.A. Shudo-Kan Karate Club on Jefferson Street in Springfield during early 1985 to begin studying under his direct instructors. He was also there as one of the many black belts who assisted. My Dad bought me my first "gi" (a white karate uniform) and I was officially a white belt for the first time. I began studying under the tutelage of Sensei Doug Dennis and his karate/business partner, Sensei David Fasig. They led a large cadre of other instructors that assisted them that included Mr. Dennis' then-wife, Mrs. Sandy Dennis, as well as black belts Mr. John Geyston, Mr. Tim Griffin, and a few others whom I now forget their names as time has past and my memory fades.

Mr. Dennis, Mr. Fasig and Mr. Bell were three men who were instrumental in toughening me up and they helped give me the tools to find the confidence in myself that I still carry with me today. I do owe them a lot. So from about 8th to 11th grade, I studied Shudo-Kan Karate. I would later in life learn that Shudo-Kan was actually the "banner name" of the style known as Shuri Itosu that Grandmaster Sam A. Brock from St. Louis had brought back with him in 1963 after having served in the military. He was stationed in Japan where he studied karate under Master Toshio Hanaue. I was told it was an Okinawan style. Though I'm uncertain of the politics and reasons for change, it was my understanding that Sensei Doug Dennis broke away later from the entity that was the N.K.A. Later, the Springfield Shudo-Kan Karate Club aligned with Shito-Ryu/Shito-Kai as the style of choice but the school would keep the Shudo-Kan branded name.

I truly enjoyed practicing karate during those formative teenager years. I recognized that Mr. Dennis threw in some of his knowledge with Aikido and Kung-fu into the mix at times to supplement our training. I remember him casually integrating into our teaching Bruce Lee’s “three-inch” punch at times and a few other fighting techniques.

I enjoyed the traditional aspects of karate for those first three or so years. There was a well-balance of kihon, kata and kumite. In the 1980's as a teenager, I was a serious karate student up until about the time I was 17. I went to a handful of tournaments to spar and compete in kata for competition. It was at this time that it was moving more towards a "sport" for me. I wasn't perceptive then to understand that karate was more than just a sport. At about this time, I won a second place medal for a sparring competition and was feeling a little proud. I had my ego put back into place when Mr. Bell told me that second place was nothing to brag about when I showed him my medal. In combat, second place meant you were dead. At that point, a cold realization started to happen to me as I saw that Mr. Bell was training for real life combat situations (at one point, he discussed fighting techniques in case a 'flash grenade' every went off in my midst of combat) while Mr. Dennis, respectfully in my opinion, was competitive in sports and focused in class at that time on tournaments. I was kind of lost in the mix with purpose and direction. I recognized then that I wasn't a top student as I saw one kid my same age who was an athletic soccer player zoom up in rank quickly as he was a fierce sparring competitor. Though it sounds like jealousy on my part, I saw the attention placed on him where he was being coached and groomed. I felt forgotten as I continued to sludge through the basics each night. It is only later in life that I realize that I shouldn't have felt jealous or felt competitive against the other boy my age who was on the fast track to his black belt. It took me 25 more years to realize that the true competitor we face is our own self in our studies.

At first with Shudo-Kan karate when I joined, there was a well balance of sparring, kata and practical self-defense that was taught, but as the 1988 Olympics approached, it seemed to me that the focus shifted to Sports Karate and tournament sparring when I believe Mr. Dennis became a part of the U.S. Olympic Karate Demonstration committee that was pushing to integrate karate into the games. There was nothing wrong with that endeavour, but the climate of the dojo changed that was not meshing with my needs and what I was wanting out of the karate training. I mean no disrespect because I truly appreciated my time studying under Mr. Dennis.

After Mr. Bell's stern comments to me after winning a second place medal, I was re-evaluating everything. I had my first realization that I wasn’t taking karate to win trophies or to compete in tournaments any longer. I was taking karate at that time to survive as I was thinking about joining the navy. Karate became more of a "martial art" combative focus for me -- meaning military art. I wasn’t in it for the “sport" any longer. So my environment had changed and I had changed. I just felt that competition was too much of the focus as I continued in my study at the Shudo-Kan dojo. I would rather practice controlled kumite fighting in class rather than hit the tournament circuit with other martial arts schools to win medals. In essence, I feel the same way today as I did then, though my philosophies and thoughts on karate has expanded greatly with maturity and experience.

Around this same time as I was shifting gears, some of the black belts started to leave the N.K.A. Shudo-Kan Karate Club after a falling out in which I never knew the whole story.

I was at my physical peak during my training during those teenage years at 165 pounds… but I admit that unfortunately I wasn’t at my mental best as outside bad influences started to creep in and they lured me away from those positive things in my life as I got closer to high school graduation and adulthood.

I started slacking off and I got a little irritated with how things seemed to change at the dojo and around me in life. I had further distractions in my own personal life that also pushed me into a rebellious phase of living. A diving board accident one summer caused me great injury that I still suffer from today where I had a hairline fracture in one of my lower vertebrae that put me out of commission for a few months and out of practice. There was also a bully at school who I wanted to knock his block off that was frustrating me, but I found restraint. I was impatient because I wanted to haul off and kick his ass, but somehow, I just tried to ignore him.

Thus, not caring one way or another, I simply decided to quit (…though I still remember the mantra of “Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit”) Shudo-Kan Karate during my junior year of high school just before my 4th Kyu test. As I became an upperclassman, the "teenage wasteland" years hit me hard when all I cared about was girls, guitars and getting into mischief. I turned my back on my karate training, my parents, and even my faith in God.

I seriously regret doing some of the things that I did. My faith in God was also in crisis during those latter teenage years. I was questioning a lot of things. From the age of 17 to 20, it is a wonder that I didn’t get into more trouble or harm myself with some of the stupid antics I involved myself in.

But that is another story and I found my way back onto the right path. This is due in part to the the Lord and the love of a girl named Roxie who would later become my wife. I mention my falling down moments only because I do truly subscribe to the notion that karate is as much a character building way of life as it is for strengthening your health. I learned from my mistakes. I’m not saying it replaces my religious faith, but karate when used correctly, can help strengthen character where it instills values.

I graduated high school, went off to college and also graduated with my bachelor's degree, married Roxie and we had our first child -- a girl named Rachel.

The 1990's - Starting over as a White Belt for the 2nd Time - Plus Kobudo and Brazilian Ju-Jitsu Training

Flash forward with me now to a decade later. I had gotten married, graduated from college, started working a job and was a new father. Roxie and I moved back to Springfield, Illinois with our daughter who was just a year old. Over the years, I had strongly regretted that I had quit karate back when I was in high school. I missed it in college and for those first few years when I was married. I had started to gain weight and needed exercise. Now that we were back in Springfield, I wanted to return to studying karate. I had hoped that things had changed.

So it was about this time that I returned to the Shudo-Kan Karate dojo (where it had moved from Jefferson Street out to Bradforton Road going out to Farmingdale and Pleasant Plains). I think I was too timid to explore other martial art schools at that time as I only wanted to stay with things I felt comfortable and familiar with. To be honest, I knew of nothing else. I had no desire to study Tae Kwon Do. So, I re-joined the Shudo-Kan Karate Club and I felt like the lost prodigal son returned. I also credit Matt Jackson for encouraging me to return. He is now a third-degree black belt, who was at that time, one of my art students at Springfield College in Illinois.

Upon my return, Mr. Dennis demoted me back to white belt since I had been gone for a decade. I had to start all over from scratch. In my eyes, I was quietly being punished and forced to start over. I still had the certificate that stated and signed by him a decade earlier that stated I had earned my 5th Kyu Green Belt on February 24, 1987. That was my sixteenth birthday. I felt over the years that he should have honored my rank that he had bestowed me a decade earlier. I felt that I had earned that rank and should have been allowed me to continue where I left off, but I was too timid to question him and I had to comply with his prerogative as Sensei if I wanted to learn from him (again).

I stayed in for a little more than a year this second time around where I trained and earned my yellow belt for the second time after about a nine months or more. It was humiliating at first, but I accepted it. I was training hard to just get back to that original 5th Kyu Green Belt level that I had been when I was sixteen. Later I realized that humiliation was humbling of my ego.

With my return to Shudo-Kan in the late 1990’s, I had also started to take supplemental martial arts training in the same Shudo-Kan dojo with a black belt instructor named Greg Giddings. At that time, Sensei Dennis gave Mr. Giddings permission to train students outside the traditional Shudo-Kan karate classes in other martial arts forms. One of the supplemental studies had to be an Okinawan style. So Greg Giddings instructed a Kobudo class that focused on the five traditional Okinawan weapons along with other “found” weapons systems. I trained in that system for over a year and specifically focused on the bo staff and nunchaku where I tested and rose in rank. Giddings taught this in the Shudo-Kan dojo on Saturday mornings after the formal Shudo-Kan classes.

I also took private lessons with Giddings in the art of ground fighting in the Gracie style of Brazilian Ju-Jitsu that abandoned traditional Japanese discipline for an informal Western style working relationship with the instructor and other students. During that era, there were no belts issued. No bowing. It was a handshake and then you hit the mats. All the formality was shucked out the door. Giddings taught this in the dojo on Saturday mornings very early before the formal Shudo-Kan classes began.

For me, working with Giddings for that year and a half was beneficial to my martial arts training to work in different forms. I still remember a bit of the ground-fighting today that has stayed with me. I actually enjoyed this training as this was my favorite experience in my second and final journey as a member of the Shudo-Kan Karate Club. Greg Giddings school was called the GMAP Submissions Fighting system and he went on to train local martial arts and national cage champion fighter, Jason Reinhardt. I didn't realize it at the time, but that this was the beginnings of the modern era of MMA fighting. I got out just as I was starting to get the basics down.

Again, I retain a great admiration and respect for Sensei Dennis to this day, but it was a different environment. No disrespect intended, but it had become too commercialized as a business and it was being turned into a sports facility with basketball and volleyball courts, etc. The dojo experience felt lost in the shuffle. The other black belts I had known growing up had left. One of them, Mr. Fasig, had left the organization before my return in 1997 and started his own dojo where he now teaches Okinawan Shorin-Ryu in Springfield. In the late 1990's, I once again didn’t feel like my needs were meshing with the direction that the Shudo-Kan Karate Club was heading. Plus at this time, I was experiencing some marital problems and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.

By 1999, I was spending too much time away from home and it put a strain on my marriage. We were buying a new house. Roxie was pregnant with our second child and I was basically gone all day on Saturday with my martial arts training. Plus, my fledgling comic book career was beginning to take off… so when I felt pressure and was losing interest… I quit once again. I just wasn’t enjoying the Shudo-Kan Karate experience this second time around and I finally think that my resentment that I had to start over as white belt with Sensei Dennis rubbed me wrong because I was impatient and felt I was wrongly penalized -- whether justified in my thoughts or not.

2007 - Third Time is the Charm... Starting over as a White Belt for the 3rd Time with Yoshukai Karate

So, for the next 8 years or so… I gained even more weight… added stress to my life, etc. From 1999 to about 2006, I was trying to do two jobs that included forming my own company with some partners that was called Shooting Star Comics. If you’ve read my blogs, you’ll know that in 2006, I was weighing in over 285 pounds around the time of my kidney stone attack. At one point, I was pushing towards the 300 mark. Man, I had put on a lot of weight and was on the verge of a heart attack.

One night that summer, I woke up in the middle of the night to find my wife awake. Roxie was doing chores around the house at 3 a.m. and upset. I realized that my snoring and my weight problem had stressed her out where she was expecting to wake up one morning and find me dead in bed next to her. I decided to change my life after having both a literal and proverbial wake up call.

In August 2006, I started a weight loss program though the SIU School of Medicine. I started watching my diet and I did alot of walking that fall. I got down to about 245 pounds by December 2006. That same fall semster, I was also teaching a Layout and Graphic Design class on Thursday nights for the Benedictine University program at Springfield College. Then something happened...

My wife enrolled our daughter into a Tai-Chi Chuan class. I missed most of her classes since I was teaching those nights, but I had the opportunity to watch Rachel’s last two classes before Christmas break.

I originally got into a bit of an argument with my wife because she put Rachel in the Tai Chi Chuan class first without consulting me first. As her father and someone who had trained in martial arts over the years, I knew what to look for in a dojo and a martial arts system. I wanted to be consulted and be the decision maker when it pertained to this subject. Mainly, because I myself had been getting up the gumption to return to studying karate again, but various lame excuses were preventing me from actually doing it.

But Roxie was right in enrolling her into something at least. Rachel has always struggled with her weight all of her life (like me) and needed to find an outlet to get some exercise. She immediately enjoyed the martial arts and was a serious student right from the beginning. Over the years, I had worked with her at home on some self-defense techniques. She really took to Tai Chi Chuan and was one of the more serious students in this class of kids. The first night I went to watch, her main instructor was not present and she had a substitute instructor who looked like he didn’t want to be there.

The next week, her instructor returned to pass out belts. I never saw a formal test for Rachel. What I did see was a complete lack of discipline in the class where her instructor allowed the students to walk all over her. Rachel’s instructor was a lady that allowed the students to misbehave without repercussion. I was appalled. It was rowdy and disorganized. During that final night, Rachel’s instructor also had a minor nervous breakdown and was rambling about her personal problems in life and was on the verge of crying. She was having some severe emotional problems. It wasn't the place to have a breakdown in front of all those kids.

I was completely disgusted as I would not allow Rachel to continue here under her instruction.

Then, I made an impromptu decision and a deal to both benefit Rachel and myself. Since my weight loss program began in August 2006, I knew then and there as Christmas approached that I had to up my physical activity to more than just walking every morning for the New Year to continue to lose weight.

We would find a new dojo and both join.

And I wasn’t going to return to the Shudo-Kan Karate Club because of the past and because it was too far to travel to and from Sherman, Illinois.

About four months earlier, I had checked out Mr. Fasig’s dojo on Sangamon Avenue, but it turned out to be too expensive for me at that time and it seemed to me to be on the verge of closing at the location on Sangamon Avenue. He wasn't there when I visited. It did look like a good school and I have alot of respect for Mr. Fasig.

I remembered that during the summer of 2006, a new karate dojo had opened in Williamsville. I had driven past it several times as I took Mitch to his baseball games. I kept on peeking in as I drove past and would see traditional karate being taught in those glimpses through the window.

That very evening when Rachel earned her yellow belt and I witnessed the lack of discipline in the class and her instructor’s nervous breakdown, I still went ahead and congratulated Rachel on her success and hard work. Still, we had a frank talk and I discussed with her what I witnessed and my point of view that this style and school wasn’t right for her. She was a serious student but not getting the proper training.

She recognized the problems also. So, that very night we drove north to Williamsville to see if by chance that the karate dojo I had seen during the summer was open.

It was. We both went inside and class was being held. We were kindly greeted by Sensei Scott Bottrell and we were allowed to watch the students work out. We saw Mr. David Schreiber receive his black belt in a formal presentation. As we watched, Rachel immediately saw the difference from her Tai Chi Chuan class and we both got excited. We watched for that hour and we both immediately knew that this Yoshukai Karate school was a traditional karate dojo that did it right. The instructors were disciplined and worked well with the students. Traditional balanced karate was being taught correctly. We wanted to join.

Traditional karate was what I had first entered into as a kid. This was what I wanted again as an adult. This is what I wanted for my daughter as her parent.

We were invited back to watch one more evening just before the school took a break for Christmas vacation. We made our decision to have her leave Tai Chi Chuan school and for us to both join together at the Yoshukai Karate Alliance that very first night we observed the class. Yes, we did come back for one more evening to watch. It just re-affirmed our decision and we committed in a New Year’s Resolution that we would start together during the first week of January after the New Year began at the dojo in Williamsville.

We have no regrets.

The Present... (Updated December 14, 2009)

I found my home at the Yoshukai Karate Alliance. My daughter earned her green belt, but after about a year of study, decided to take an extended leave of absence. Two years ago, my son Mitch joined and recently earned his green belt also. We're all in it for different reasons and are training on different levels. I recently earned my Shodan black belt rank in December 2009.

You know, how some things happen for a reason?

I think all those things in my life with those detours happened to lead us here.

Yes, I’m Karate Student Version 3.0 this time around. Once again, I had to start all back over as white belt for a third time in my life. This time around, it was a fresh beginning -- it was humbling, not humiliating. This time around I would learn about the concept of the Nintai and patience.

My life experience and training integrated quickly into my studies where I picked up right where I left off though my body was physically out of shape. I'm now stronger and more flexible. No longer 285+ pounds, I've lost weight and toned up a bit at 235 pounds. I feel better than I have since I was in college. Still, I'm working out most every day and striving for better health and will work on shedding a few more pounds.

The Yoshukai Karate Alliance is focused on teaching traditional karate without shaking every bit of loose change out of your pockets for one thing. The students and instructors train with seriousness and dedication. I appreciate that. Currently, I'm studying under Sensei Clay Roberts, Sensei Scott Bottrell, Mr. David Schreiber and Chief Instructor-- Sensei Daniel Dugan -- of Lincoln, Illinois. From time-to-time, I also enjoy working out with my Shito-Ryu friend and karate instructor, Matt Jackson -- who again, happens to be one of my former art students.

When I got back into it karate this third time around, I told myself that I’m doing it primarily for my health and to help lose weight. In my third year of study with the Yoshukai Karate Alliance, I realized that I needed it for more than just that. I now see that Karate-Do is a way of life to train with heart and soul as one perseveres with patience and strength. I'm not just a karate-ka when I put on the gi and tie the belt around my waist when I enter the dojo training hall. I'm a karate-ka at every moment of my life now. Karate has returned to be a force that I now train and live with in my life.

Yoshukai Karate provides that framework that has allowed me to become healthier and stronger in mind, body and spirit. I no longer have to use daily inhalers to fight a lifetime of asthma problems. I’ve been able to lose weight as well as become more flexible and stronger. I have noticed that one’s focus becomes sharper and the mind becomes clearer. Anxieties and stress have dissipated.

Yoshukai instructors teach proven methods of self-defense that builds confidence, yet one strives to be more humble and patient because of that. Adversity is faced with courage and perseverance. While fun and challenging, this traditional Japanese martial art is a serious discipline meant to build good character with those in its ranks. I have found that Yoshukai exemplifies courtesy, respect and honor in a spiraling world through the study of this budo artform that becomes a way of life for its practitioners as we strive to continuously improve.

In the future, I’ll write more in my blog from time to time about karate.